Reading Scary Tarot Cards with Empathy

By Madeleine Gunhart

Let’s face it. Some Tarot cards are more pleasant to flip over than others. In fact, some of them can be downright scary — the ones we most often see in horror movies as bad omens. Death — ahh! Three of Swords — ouch! The Devil — eek! Also The Tower, and maybe Ten of Swords.

But honestly, I don’t think there are any “bad” cards. The Tower may strike fear in our hearts, but it doesn’t mean us harm. In fact, it wants us to break out of our shell and become bigger, fuller versions of ourselves.

Any time we sit down with our decks to pull cards, it’s important to remember: the symbols and scenes Tarot offers are here to guide us, not curse us. And maybe it's actually the “scary” cards that remind us when we need extra love and care.

The Three of Swords, Death, The Devil, and The Tower cards from Ask the Witch Tarot.

Once, I was relaying to my therapist a dream in which a creepy masked figure grabbed me by the arm. In the dream, I was paralyzed by fear as the hollow eyes of my attacker stared me down.

My therapist perked up right away, and asked me to go into further detail. She asked if the masked figure hurt me in the dream.

“No,” I admitted.

“Did it seem like it was going to?”

Also no. It just freaked me the heck out.

My therapist nodded. “This masked figure,” she said, “has something important to tell you.”

And she’s right. Sometimes the things that scare us most come to us bearing important messengers (and scare us a little in order to get our full attention). If we look closely, they might also reveal a soft, hidden underbelly that needs some love, care, and affection.

Approaching Tarot Readings from a Place of Empathy

I’m a strong believer that any Tarot card can be read compassionately through an empathetic lens, so instead of letting certain cards scare you or send you into a spiral of doubt and anxiety, think of them like masked messengers.

Consider: How might this card want to help me? How can I use its message to nurture myself?

Below, I offer examples for four of Tarot’s “scariest” cards and you can read them with more empathy and optimism. You’ll also find a an example I’ll review some of the commonly feared cards and how I read them empathetically. You’ll also find a Tarot spread to help you better understand (and move a little closer to) a card that feels a little intimidating to see in a reading.

But first, I want to share a few tips for how you can bring more empathy for yourself — and Tarot! — to each and every reading you conduct:

Come to your reading with curiosity and openness.
If fear is your first response, that’s okay. Honor your knee-jerk reaction (whatever that may be), but then turn it around. Change I’m afraid this will happen and I won’t be able to handle it into This is how I can honor and address my fear / pain / anxiety / etc.
I find that the cards often speak to where we are now more than they predict future disaster. Treat the cards as messengers pointing out where you can benefit from emotional or spiritual work at the moment, instead of seeing them as harbingers of doom.
Ask yourself questions instead of speaking in definite predictions. (Example: How can I address this hurt? Instead of: I’m in for pain.)
It’s okay to cry or become emotional. In fact, that’s a good thing. Feel your feelings! Honoring our emotions is how we grow, and Tarot is a safe space where we can process feelings and honor deep truths. Not all readings have to be happy, but the vast majority should should leave you feeling seen and understood. We can honor our full spectrum of emotions while still showing ourselves compassion.
View yourself as someone who deserves love and care. Believe that you will receive it. Imagine that you are reading this card for a friend or loved one. What would you say to them? How can you apply that same message to yourself?

Tarot’s Most Intimidating Cards and How to Work with Them — with Compassion!

Now, let’s get into some scary cards! For each one, I’ll offer a common fear response and a way to shift that response to something more empathetic and compassionate.

3 of Swords

Fear Response: Heartbreak and heartache are coming my way! I’m in for PAIN and misery.

Empathetic Response: How can I best tend to my wounds? How can I heal, acknowledge, and honor the parts of me that ache? I might be hurting right now, and that hurt deserves recognition and care.

The Tower

Fear Response: Everything I love will be destroyed. My life is about to fall apart.

Empathetic Response: Sometimes things need to break wide open so we can rebuild from the ground up. This process can be painful and scary, and that’s okay. How am I experiencing this unsettledness right now? What can I do to soothe myself? What am I looking forward to rebuilding?

Death

Fear Response: I or someone I love will die eminently.

Empathetic Response: We move through cycles of life and death again and again. Symbolic deaths allow us to shed that which no longer serves us, like a snake shedding its skin. What can I let go of in order to be a more realized version of me? What transformation am I undergoing? I am allowed to grieve my shedded selves while also recognizing they’re better off laid to rest.

The Devil

Fear Response: I am chained to my bad habits and vices forever.

Empathetic Response: What might be holding me back? How can I examine my chains or change my habits so they don’t have such a hold on me? (Note: For example, I often think of The Devil in terms of my anxious thoughts. Even just acknowledging and naming these thoughts can help me feel a bit less held back by them.)

A Tarot spread to work with a card that challenges you. Here, The Tower card from Ask the Witch Tarot is shown above a row of four cards, face down, each representing a question in the spread.

A Tarot Spread to Befriend a Scary Card

Go through your deck and pick out a card that scares you. It could be one of the cards I mentioned above, or one you have a personally fraught relationship with. Look for a strong gut reaction, a heart palpitation, a frown, a wrinkling of the nose. Any card that elicits a yikes response from you is fair game.

Place this card in front of you. We’ll call it your Fear Card.

Shuffle your deck.

Pull for cards and place them in a row, left to right, below your Fear Card.

1. What message does my Fear Card have for me?

2. How can I use this card to help me engage in self-compassion?

3. How does this card feel misunderstood by me?

4. What is the soft underbelly of this card that I can discover?

Like any relationship, developing camaraderie with your Fear Cards might take time, and that is totally okay. Empathy and self-compassion are muscles that can be stretched and built with time. Try to remember that Tarot can be a tool for self-love. You’re allowed to let the cards speak to you gently, and with kindness. You deserve nothing less.

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About Madeleine GUNHART

Madeleine Gunhart is a writer, witch, and Tarot reader from Seattle, Washington. She enjoys helping folks connect with themselves through empathetic Tarot readings and writing empowering stories for young readers. You can find her on Twitter at @madgunhart and Instagram at @madeleinegunhart.